T playing the antagonist, this move would have bombed hard. Dressed appropriately, Quaker Oats Steel Cut are both age-appropriate and a nice weekend breakfast. While I don’t go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, they are pretty tasty. The marshmallows in Lucky Charms are Rocky III. If I’m going for a Pop Tart, it needs to be Pop Tarts – Strawberry. Still, there’s nothing wrong with being on the level of a Rocky IV. I know that Rocky singlehandedly ended the Cold War in Rocky IV, and the soundtrack is amazing. Oh, you were expecting Rocky III here? Sorry, dudes. But, I have a lot of cereal still to rank. Cocoa Pebbles could easily be on the next level. It’s hard to get that excited about Shop Rite Quick Oats (plain oatmeal) or Cheerios, especially when I can easily reach for their upgrades (more on that in a bit.) Gorilla Munch is a bougie version of Kix. Bonus: we got Milo Ventimiglia as Rocky, Jr. But, it was a’ight, with Rocky returning to his underdog role to take on Mason ‘The Line’ Dixon. It may even be the same box of cereal.Īfter the Rocky movie that never happened, my expectations were very low for Rocky Balboa. So, Quaker Instant Oats – Pumpkin Spice stands no chance with me. In my previous cereal rankings, I blasted Cocoa Krispies. Nothing has changed since then. Did I mention that I made myself a lo mein burrito for dinner last night? With melted cheese. That’s kinda like the time Homer told Marge to buy him a ‘bucket of chicken, extra skin.’ This was an impulse buy – duh – and I was expecting something over the top. The same goes for Pop-Tarts – Splitz (Drizzled Sugar Cookie / Frosted Brownie Batter). Thirty years ago, if my mother had let us have Pop Tarts in the house, Pop Tarts – Chocolate Chip would’ve rocked my world and, thus, finished higher on my list. Pop-Tarts – Splitz (Drizzled Sugar Cookie / Frosted Brownie Batter).I feel the same way about these cereals in my cabinet. But, it ended up predictable and just, you know, meh. But, there was nothing all that special about Rocky II, the second installment. That screams both re-match and franchise. Rocky Balboa loses to Apollo Creed, but Rocky wins an Academy Award. So is Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros. And Unicorn, I have no idea where that came from. I bought Smorz because I wanted to compare them to Honey Maid S’mores (a Rocky-caliber cereal). Better yet, they should’ve never been produced in the first place. But, I saw better theatrical performances in my 5-year-old’s school Christmas show.Īlong those lines, there are certain cereals that I should’ve left on the supermarket shelf. And Sage Stallone playing Rocky’s son, well, I get it he’s Rocky’s son in real life. George Washington Duke was a horrible rip-off of Don King. Tommy ‘The Machine’ Gunn was a terrible antagonist. Much like Godfather III, this movie never happened. That is, I’ve grouped the cereal choices by Rocky films from worst to best. Ray Lewis, via Wikimedia CommonsWe also have a new ‘Rocky’ style ranking system.
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